Jeffrey Spolan





Good Hands

jeffm.jpg (12670 bytes)

Reformed Mime

Form Letter




Arrival In L.A.

On crossing the border from AZ to CA
a female border guard in shorts flirted with me.

Welcome to California!

I'm here. The first thing I noticed is the Freeways go on forever.
Having traveled more than 3,000 miles since leaving New York, I succeeded in
missing my turn and drove four blocks too far.

I opened the 'puter in the car and powered up finally to discover my error.
Not too shabby...

I have met my next door neighbor who's last name is Rabinowitz and now I have met
my first authentic L.A. person. - well authentic might not be the right word...
He is spending his time indoors writing and on line
but when he heard me come in next door he came over to check me out.

Later I will go buy some scotch and knock on his door again.

I was walking to this bank and a very pregnant woman exited from a shop
and did not see me directly behind her - she was obliviously pregnant.

Suddenly she turned to see who was just behind her and she let out a yowl.
I scared her?
I immediately started a routine:

"Lady it's o.k. It's o.k.
I'm harmless. I'm not even from L.A.
I don't even KNOW anyone in L.A."

She paused mid yowl and gave a nervous laugh.

I continued to the bank thinking my NY energy was still very *ON*

When I got to the bank I frightened the teller - who's name was Suzie.
Within a few moments The Senior Personal Financial Advisor came over
and I scared him too.

His name is Sam and I am on a first name basis with both of them.
However I am " Mr. Spolan."

This is a good start. They offered me a nice promotional deal which allows me to maintain
a checking account with zero minimum balance - forever...

send e-mail (212) 874-5300