Oh, Danny Boy,
The pipes, the pipes are callin'...

As most New Yorker's slept through the wee hours
of Martin Luther King's Birth date

the cast and crew of the ill-fated and not too highly rated
DELLAVENTURA
gathered for the dead last gathering of the clan.

Nothing actually EVER dies on television, however.
They just make it look that way.

{Besides
there's always hope of RESURRECTION
in re-runs... or maybe
Ted Turner
will come up with
a cable station dedicated to aging Italian detectives...}
NEVERTHELESS

Despite the fact I witnessed an F.B.I. Agent
being gunned down at point blank range
by A KIDNAPPER DISGUISED AS A FIREMAN

and spent 12.5 hours inhaling
SMOKE BOMBS
which
had been set off TO COVER HIS ESCAPE

{don't ask... I wouldn't want to give away the ending}

the show came to a GRINDING HALT
on January 19th.

I know this is true because all day long
my Casio G-Shock watch told me
it was January 20th for reasons
I can only now in retrospect
fathom:

Having returned to New York from a vacation in Italy which included Rome, Florence and the Alps* on January 15th the six hour time difference plus the 8 hour plane ride on TWA effectively destroyed my biological clock

and messed with my watch.
Which in good faith
kept on keepin' on...

My body, however was still functioning on Italian time
as I

Dante - like

made my solitary subway sojourn
in the general direction of Manhattan
seeking the site of the shoot.

And having succeeded in filling in my
payment voucher all wrong
at 7 a.m.

I was ready to participate in the day's activities.

Originally I was to be hired to play
a Security Guard
in the building soon to be bombed.

However
due to the fact I had announced truthfully
to the casting director who sought to hire me

that with very little effort of my own
I had
grown lots of facial hair while skiing in the Alps*
and
I was now sporting a nifty beard.

ASIDE:
Racially speaking:
it is a well known fact of television
that
Security Guards
-who more often than not offer no security-
do not wear beards.

Mustaches?
Well, maybe...
but certainly not beards.

Therefore a lateral career decision was made
and
the kindly casting director
offered moi the role of
THE JANITOR.

And so
the strapping six foot three
JANITOR WITH A BEARD
towered over the portly but shorter
NEW Security Guard
for the rest of the day.

Suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
is the normal course of affairs for an actor.

Especially when hired for
"Background work"...

For example:
One might spend a lot of time
positioned in front of a Pepsi Cola dispensing machine
just for the express purpose
of hiding the Pepsi logo from the view of the camera.

Since: "the camera never lies"
it is a good idea to sometimes
hide things from it
to avoid litigation.

Though I personally was not
GRACED
with this assignment
there was indeed SOME ACTOR
who was.

This important moment is captured
just as Danny Aiello
-looking really good
considering
it was ALSO HIS LAST DAY on the project

- and he had invested some of his own money in the show

-made his entrance
though the building's REVOLVING DOORS

Oh, Danny Boy
The pipes, the pipes are callin'

and moved forward to
THE THREE TELEPHONE BOOTHS
IN THE LOBBY HALL!

One of which contained
A KEY taped to the bottom of the ~COIN BOX~ !

I never discovered what that key opened
because
after Danny located: THE KEY
the hand held camera followed him further along
the corridor
until he disappeared around a corner
and vanished from my view.

I guess I'll have to watch the show to find out.

I know SOMETHING HAPPENED
after he disappeared around that corner
because the next set up
was a shot of Danny
crossing back around the corner
and moving in the opposite direction!

The production company should have hired
50 actors to fill the lobby effectively with
warm bodies.
Instead they hired about 25...
so all day long
people were either putting their coats on
or taking them off
while moving in and out of the various scenes
to give the illusion
there were multitudinous hordes of
office workers
and

one or two janitors

in the building at the time of the
EXPLOSION!

During THAT afternoon
I witnessed STAR POWER!
as Danny held up the shooting for a few moments
to speak with a short fellow
who was
RESPONSIBLE FOR obtaining 200 jackets
with DELLAVENTURA logos
as gifts for the regular cast and crew

{not for the benefit of background actors'
of course
...that goes without saying}

By virtue of overhearing their conversation

which took place
exactly where I was hiding
effectively
so I wouldn't be discovered by the A.D.
and asked to make yet another
horde crossing in front of the camera

I was privy to:

A PRIVATE MOMENT
IN THE LIFE OF DANNY AIELLO.

Danny graciously had been willing to lay out
thousands of dollars
for the express purpose of rewarding
his clan for their efforts.

The director could wait a moment
while colors and styles for the jackets were discussed
and the finishing touches could be approved
for the DELLAVENTURA logo which would be
either embroidered or heat sealed
onto each garment.

In truth
no decision was made on this last point
because DANNY'S PROFESSIONALISM
took hold
as he tore himself away from the conversation
and returned to the task at hand:

WHICH MEANT CAPTURING
AND/OR
KILLING THE KIDNAPPER.

Whaddaguy!

Another real benefit for me this last day
included the fact that the location for the shoot
was within proximity to one of my favorite
Chinese restaurants...

At the "walk-away lunch break"
which means exactly what is says:
you walk away and buy your own lunch
I made my way to Pell Street

stopping first at a THAI BODEGA I know
to pick up a quota of some delicious THAI TEA
for consumption at home

and then onto a Dim Sum joint
-which will remain unnamed-
wherein I ate 5 plates of assorted
UNPRONOUNCEABLES
and sated myself thoroughly for nine bucks.

The municipal building used as "location"
for the shoot housed some interesting offices.
The Department of Health Police
for the City of New York
was one of them.

It is also the very same building where one obtains
the BIRTH AND DEATH RECORDS.
I further noticed a sign next to this office which
informs one of the following:
all records of
BIRTH AND DEATH between 1900 and 1920
are not computerized and have to be obtained
BY HAND.
Smoke bombs and gunfire aside
I thought the proximity of these two offices
in the same building to be
macabre
while busily digesting my lunch...

These are the kinds of things
that capture one's attention during a long day.

For authenticity's sake
REAL COPS and REAL FIREMEN
were on the set as well.

I was comforted and felt secure in the waiting room
as they sat with us
armed with automatic pistols and fire axe's
through many hours
of waiting for something to happen

which is the way of things
ON THE SET.

A FOOTNOTE:
During lunch one actor was mugged
and his pants slashed by a perp attempting to steal his wallet.
Otherwise

A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL
AS THE SUN WAS LONG GONE
AND 8:30 PM CAME ROLLING IN...

We bid a fond farewell to the final day of DELLAVENTURA
and left after arguing over a meal penalty payment due us
which they didn't want to honor
but finally acquiesced to...

Upon exiting the building
in the darkness of the evening
I noticed two lines of people
in a parking lot
waiting to receive food parcels from
volunteers who worked for
The Coalition for the Homeless.

Upon returning home I wrote a check for them
and mailed it the next morning...