YETI the WONDER DOG Goes Hollywood 
* SECOND INSTALLMENT *  

Yeti the Wonder Dog and moi 
spent all Friday evening in the vicinity of St. Ignatius of Loyola Church. 
It's a lovely edifice located on Park Avenue 
on the fashionable East Side of Manhattan. 

EXCEPT: This time it was exactly one week later! 

There is a perfectly good reason 
a veritable New York City reason 
why 
after having spent countless hours 
"...on the set" 
for the not to be completed too soon feature film entitled: 
"Town and Country" 

we were asked to return to the scene of the 
crime 
a week later. 

and here it is: 

SOMEONE HAD BROKEN INTO A SECURED AREA  
WHERE THE RAW FOOTAGE FOR THIS FILM  
WAS BEING STORED  

AND HAD STOLEN IT! 

Boys and girls: You cannot make this shit up. Literally. 
AND 
Figuratively. 

$o Feature this: 
    Imagine the costs of reshooting a scene: 
    hiring the crews/actors 
    feeding them 
    re renting various equipment 
    scheduling difficulties 
    getting permits 

    IMAGINE enormous budget over run ($) 
    which someone on the producing end 
    is going to have to cough up...?!? 

The producers  
    were "unprotected" 
    from such an "occurrence". 

This was the second thing that came to my mind 
when I belatedly got the scoop 
on the set. 

Even in the lobby of the fancy building 
where this sequence was being re filmed 
there was notice posted 

explaining to the tenants 

who live in this fashionable and expensive piece of Manhattan real estate 
 

WHY  
the film industry was going to be all over their front door  AGAIN!
"Somebody glommed da daily's!"  

Good taste and a healthy respect for the inner workings 
of some of the more interesting aspects of the film industry 
will prevail 

as I choose not to reveal my first notion as to how this all came about. 

Yeti the Wonder Dog seemed to have picked up on the 
moodiness 
of the production staff... 

Although "Lefty from Lodi" was no where to be seen - 

Yeti proceeded to challenge every other dog on the set 
when they were anywhere within proximity to his territory... 

which included all of Fifth Avenue between 85th and 88th Street. 

Even "civilian" dogs! 

Dogs that were just out on a stroll with their real life 
Masters of the Universe on Prozac 
who actually do live in this area 

were told where to get off... 

Yeti was not exactly having a bad hair day 
although it did drizzle in the afternoon 
making for additional "wet" pay for everyone who's UNION 
covers such things in their collectively bargained contracts... 

for indeed 

the additional humidity made his imported long Belgium fur 
fluffy to the touch. 

And if the truth be told about anything this day: 
a lot more people were seeking him out to have their 
blood pressure reduced a few points 
as the day wore on 

and on 

and on... 

Yeti was stroked so often he became exhausted 
by all the attention he was receiving 
along with a subsequent reduction of his psychic feel good energies. 

I witnessed him collapsed in a restful heap upon the pavement 

      -a belly full of roast beef ends notwithstanding 
       which had been offered up to him during lunch 
       by his admirers 

as cast and crew wended their way around him... 

Some of this wending activity may have to do with 
the attention he had received 

by those who notice such things 

by virtue of his aggressive barking and threatening postures 
towards anything moving with more than two legs 
along Fifth Avenue... 

or maybe not. 

Make My Day Department:

Maybe they didn't see nothin' 

                          didn't hear nothin' 

                          and ipso facto 

                          they don't know nothin'. 

There was One dog I noticed: 

just one dog on the set 
a Huge Black Newfoundland 
could have kicked Yeti's ass that day. 

But his wizened owner and I had the good sense to keep 
these two contenders as far away from a shot at the title as possible. 

All this without a word between us. 

We had each sized up the opposition 
and tallied the cost in blood and terror 

and decided the cost effective alternative to mortal combat 
was the best route to go. 

Each of us was aware a confrontation 
would have been way out of proportion to any perceived benefit. 

We stayed out of each other's way. 

Too bad the producer's hadn't thought of that 
last week...  
 

  Warren Beatific was once again on the set 
looking just as good as he had the week before. 

The Greek Mythos representative who was featured last week 
was back in place. 
And except for the fact we were shooting in daylight 
almost everything went just as expected: 

Cops were in place 
re directing traffic slowly down Fifth Avenue... 
having closed one or two lanes 
to the bemusement of taxi drivers 
with Masters of the Universe on Prozac 
as passengers 

Attractive trophy wives slowed down their expensive autos 
to gawk at the expensive stars... 
and were shoo'd away by production staff 

Hoards of  Jaded Native New Yorkers 
pre judged the production values 
of the fellow responsible for that 
from behind the relative safety of the barricades 
lined up along Central Park (east) 

The proverbial "couple from Europe" 
(Germany in this case) 
stopped me 
and asked the usual questions: 

"Where are we and what is this?" 

(I attract this kind of attention for some reason. See: Andy Garcia) 
  
This marks Yeti the Wonder Dog's 
Third appearance in a feature film. 
Regardless of whether or not his featured footage
winds up on the cutting room floor

under the current Taft Hartly Law he will be entitled to his 
union card!

Yeti has gone Hollywood. 

I missed 

The Gentlemanly Goombah from Jersey 

and Lefty from Lodi

but in this business you never know...
 
 

Postscript:

I am expecting someone from the current list of nominees
for the S.A.G. Board of Directors
to forward a letter to Yeti asking him
to vote the straight party ticket
in a few days.

Show Biz! Baby! Show Biz!