Best Letter to a Casting Director

Mr. Karp; 

I've taken the liberty to enclose two photos {quasi-current} of myself for your casting consideration for the upcoming production of " Betty The Yeti." 

I have lived in the Pacific Northwest and have some notion of outdoor life having participated in two mountain climbing expeditions - one in the Andes and one in the Himalayas. 

During the expedition in 1984 to Nepal, I was given the affectionate title of "Yetiman" by the Sherpa guides who traveled with us. This was due to my size, disposition, but most compelling - the acquisition of and insistence upon wearing, a rather large long-haired goat fur cap - which was, and I imagine still is, vastly out of style with contemporary climbing apparel. 

[The Yeti cap currently lives on the top shelf of a closet along with some climbing gear.] 

I am old enough to have participated in the conflict in Viet Nam, however due to my political inclinations at the time, I created the opportunity for the government of the United States to withdraw their interest in acquiring my services for duty overseas... which they seized upon... shortly after my induction physical/ mental examination in Brooklyn. 

Nevertheless I credit myself with some comprehension of those interesting times, nostalgically "re-membered" these days... witness Woodstock '94... which would serve the character of "Russ Sawyer"... I imagine. 

Currently I am appearing in the role of GOD in something called "White Guys and the Tree People." It's all pretty Deus Ex Machina as far as my role is concerned... the conflict being resolved by turning over the Chrysler Building to several thousand disenfranchised Native American Tree Spirits. 

Soon to complete this project - next week - I should like to engage my talent in another direction. 

I would mention my bull fighting experiences in Spain or my observations at the fall of De Gaulle's government and subsequent rioting in 1968, but modesty and the imposition on your time prevents me from continuing further. 

You have been kind enough to witness my work - I believe - though I not sure in what capacity either, because I received the opportunity to audition for a recent project at STW as an abusive husband, not my forte I hope, since I was called back but subsequently rejected for the role. 

Perhaps I was still shaking off my serial killer persona - from a recent production... because despite my nice audition wardrobe, I think I was a little "over" and had the impression I terrified everyone in the room. 

If you choose to audition me for the role of Russ, please be assured I will make every effort to arrive on the correct day - I was 24 hours early last time - and at your request will bring along the Yeti cap for your examination. 

Thank you, 

Jeffrey Spolan 

Call Jeffrey Spolan:
(212) 874-5300