Jeffrey Spolan Uninversity

" As a kid I ran a loop of string from my house to one of my friends about 100 yards away with pulleys on both ends.
We attached a small metal canister into which we could place notes, then pull the string to run it across to the other house. It was excellent. It lasted about a day."

With these words, former Acting on Camera graduate, Paula Smythe, explained to a stunned audience on network television last night how she initially became interested in a career in communications.

"...there are many people in the Carolina mountains doing just that. In fact, the guy they are chasing for the Olympic and abortion clinic bombings in Atlanta is rumored to be holding up in our mountains."

"I have an article about a woman living in the NC mountains," Ms Smythe went on to say, "...from a Yoga Journal about 9 months ago. She lives in a smallish cabin and studies Aurivedic medicine. I would like to meet her..."

Ms. Smythe credits her good fortune to turning down an offer
of several hundred thousand dollars to remain silent about
what she had learned as an undergraduate while studying
good theatre training at Adelphi University.

The press conference for Ms. Smythe was held in front a large logo of a "Blue Yeti" which will become the set piece for her new talk show to be aired in the fall.

She ended the conference with the words: "Non Penetrant"
as she waved farewell to one and all and was escorted off
the podium by her assistant, Ms Bobolina.